Monday 17 July 2017

Metropolitan Matters and More

fbb is old enough to remember, back in the days of The Ark, when Judges and Magistrates asked their clerks, "and who or what is or are The Beatles"; much to the amusement of press and public gallery. Some of the answers were interesting at well.
At least one station in London has been "getting excited" about the topic according to the Twit site.
Words of Wisdom from Tyrion Lannister.
After hours of patient research, fbb can reveal that he has solved the problem. Apparently "GOT stands for Game of Thrones, a fantasy television progamme, m'lud, very popular amongst young people." Tyrion Lannister (Lannister being a title not a surname) is a well known character in the series.
Then there is this one.
Another character? Indeed and one whose "catchphrase" may well be appropriate for those rushing to catch their trains.
Hodor is simple-minded (i.e. mentally disabled) and he is only capable of saying one word, "hodor", though he can apparently understand complex instructions other people give him. "Hodor" is a seemingly nonsense word, though in the process it became the name everyone calls him. It is derived from the phrase "hold the door".

fbb can find no pictures of the elusive Elterian, Mai VerGapp!

Or are they just the normal staff having a rough day?
Or commuters having a fairly normal day?

Underground That Isn't
The Company has just come up with the spiffing idea of using the Underground without travelling in tunnels.
No, it is not a joke. "There are," says the press release, "many who might like to use our services but are afraid of using tunnels. This is the map for them."
The grey shading represents the Underground (and Overground) that are underground.

fbb can only manage an extract but blog readers may amuse themselves by finding the most circuitous through journeys possible using station interchanges and avoiding tunnels. fbb's offer: Finchley Road to Hammersmith.

The full map is somewhere on the TfL web site.

Persons Are Reminded That ...
In an outbreak, entitled in one press item "Mind the Sanity Gap", the London Mayor, Mr Khan ...
... has decreed that staff on the Underground must no longer make announcements addressed to "Ladies" and "Gentlemen" because such outrageous terminology might offend ladies who have become gentlemen and vice versa. And it's not even April 1st!

fbb understands that there are plans to go further.

Speaking at a press "do" at Rickpersonsworth, Mr Khan explains.

"For phase two of this project, recognising diversity amongst our passengers, all sexually defined stations will be renamed in a less upsetting way, replacing the former "male" name, for example, with something less sexually explicit."

"Our passengers will be happy to board a train at Seven Siblings and travel to St Name's Park." 

"A trip from Name Grove to Namedale will be less stressful for those who have explored their sexuality in a modern and exciting way. People will soon get used to Royals Park and Elversibling Road"

"Racially offensive names must go as well," continued Mr Khan, "so we will get used to travelling from Greyhorse Road to Grey Hart Lane in future."

Mr Khan was, however, more evasive when a member of the press asked what he might do about Arsenal and Cockfosters. He seemed not to appreciate the problem.

Not From London ... But
Northampton Council, in charge bus shelters in the town, delegates responsibility for poster displays to a company called "Clear Channel".
Clear Channel is one of the UK’s leading Out of Home media owners. We find innovative ways for brands to meet and engage people while they’re out and about.
They are the people behind Adshel. Blokes (whoops, sorry Mr Khan) Persons have been installing electronic advert screens.
No need now to drive around in a white van, block the bus stop and slop paste all over the pavement. But Northamptonian Alan was not amused by one of the first adverts beamed throughout the town centre.
Travel from A to B by bus? What a good idea.
Now even fbb knows that Uber is a taxi service.

Next week; pictures of adverts for Waitrose inside Tesco stores. What a brilliant idea.

 Next bus blog - Tuesday 18th July 


  1. Ref the bus shelter adverts - it's hardly a new problem. When a competitor appeared on some of our routes our MD was very upset and banned our drivers even acknowledging those of the competition. We were to completely ignore the rival.

    So I asked "how would we respond if they book advertising space on our vehicles, to advertise their service?" The MD's response was rapid and to the point "don't be silly, we wouldn't do that". So I pointed to one of our a double deckers parked nearby with a huge advert all over its rear for....
    ...a car manufacturer!

  2. Naughty naughty fbb. I'm not Anonymous but they did have a good point, however instead of actually addressing it you deleted their comment. I assume you'll delete mine too.