Sunday 29 July 2012

Harry Potter and the Obstreperous Oyster [1]

Sometimes fbb composes a blog and then realises that he has "got it all wrong". Today's little bit of weekend reading comes into this category. The information contained in this piece was the result of a trip to London by fbb and his chum, Alan. For "Harry Potter", read "Alan" and for "Ron Weasley" read "fat bus bloke."

fat bus bloke's big bludner will be revealed tomorrow; BUT ...

There is still some obfuscating Oyster obstreperousness to observe.

Despite the bludner, writing the blog was still a bit of fun!
For now, the blog as originally conceived.

From a hitherto unpublished work by J K Rowling.
Fans are eagerly awaiting this "sequel" to the riotously successful series of novels and films; and fbb can reveal a few tantalising advance details of the plot.
Harry, now a student and home for the vac from Northwitch University, spends some time with his new love interest Belladonna, who lives on the South Coast. On a day trip to London to study the Muggles lifestyle, he is dogged by the evil spirit of Lord Voldemort ...
... as he tries to make sense of the Transport for London fares system. From Southern Railway he has successfully bought a very cheap train ticket as far as Croydon ...
His Hogwarts honed skills get him an OAP discount!

... whence he intends to travel on the Overground to Westfield Stratford City to invest in some new "threads". Ron would join him at Croydon using a one-day Travelcard, weasley the best value for an occasional visitor. Ron now sells expensive jewellery in Wandsworth from an up-market shop called "Neck Romancer". But for Harry it would be a clear opportunity to enjoy the benefits of  Boris the Blue Wizard's cheap fares system purveyed by electronic bi-valve mollusc plastic.

From Westfield they go on to visit Hermione who is having a spell [groan] of Voluntary Community Service at Dagenham Dock, returning via Kings Cross to check on improvement work ...
... especially for platform 9¾. Nice.
Then it was Victoria line back to Victoria and a quick check on how much has been deducted from  Harry's card account.
Experts on the system will understand this picture of the enquiry screen at Victoria; but it would appear that he started with £15.55 (off screen) on his card; topped up with £10 giving a working total of £25.55. Deductions totalled £7.15 which appears to leaves a balance of £18.40.

But why £7.15?

And why 35p for the tube journey from Kings Cross to Victoria? It should be £2.00.

"Price cap", we hear all you Londoners cry. Boris the Blue Wizard will never charge you more than the stated price cap for your day's travel, however many journeys you make. How nice of the fair hayored buffoon mayor!

In preparation for tomorrow's blog, please enjoy this list of fares and amuse yourselves trying to match it with the screen above. Your starter for 10, "In which zone is Dagenham Dock located?" Come on, we've got to hurry you.
So the price cap should be ... ?

But beware: Voldemort's obstreperous oyster is ready to pounce.

 Next Blog : Monday 30th July 

1 comment:

  1. Harry Potter seems to have missed a trick. He could have registered his Young Person's Railcard against his Oyster, to get further discounts at the usual times. Then again, said discounts apply for Senior Railcard holders too....see

    Personally I always go for a One Day Travelcard for anything other than the simplest journeys - that way the price paid for a day's travel never exceeds £5.60 (Railcard discount price) for unlimited travels within the whole of zones 1-6.