Saturday Variety

Isn't Technology Wonderful? The Conclusion

So fbb has removed the SIM from his old, tired and well-worn phone and slid it easily into his shiny new phone.

But the SIM fell out of the slidey thing when it was inside the phone, jammed the slide and, of course refused to work. fbb was able to remove the slide, leaving the SIM deep and inaccesible within the phone - somewhere! So the old phone was u/s and the new phone was equally u/s.

So off to the Tesco phone shop to explain all to the lad on duty.

It would be fair to say that the lad (aged about 12?) had an attitude of despair, no doubt wondering why a decrepit old crock should even try to operate something as technologically whizzo as a mobile phone. He listened patiently to fbb's sad and sorrowful tale and peered into the SIM slot.

"I can see no SIM in there," he said with a sigh, and as if to prove his case he slid a temporary SIM in the slot which, so he said, worked fine.

"All we need to do is a SIM swap," he announced.

Yer what?

"But first, I need to unlock your phone. Give me the PIN."

But fbb had never locked his phone! Wouldn't know how to!

But, after lengthy debate with a man at the end of a conventional phone line, several discussions about fbb's mother's maiden name (embarrassingly "Smith"), fbb's date of birth and colour of his underpants, things began to happen.

45 minutes of sheer joy , BUT, the new phone was WORKING!

Of course, being electronic, fbb had to wait 24 hours for the new SIM to cook properly (to SIMmer? Groan!)

Then yesterday afternoon the telly went wrong. Bright light dots appeared on the screen and wouldn't go away. 

fbb had considered sacrificing several bulls by way of thanksgiving for the phone, but realised such is no longer necessary after the sacrifical death of Jesus. so muttered a heart-felt "Praise The Lord".

Isn't technology wonderful?

But the telly was a different matter! Apparently, according to a YouTube video, diffuser lenses have fallen off the LEDs that back-light the screen. The video went on to explain how fbb could repair them himslelf, by dismantling the telly. This process seemed to involve removing several hundted screws, doing a lot of prising and jiggling followed by glueing and putting it all back.

No fear! "The man" has to be alled!

Isn't technology wonderful?

Contravision Again

Taylors of Harrogate (of tea, coffee and Bettys fame) ...

... have an all-over advert Borismaster trundling around in London.

The twitterer who posted the picture was delighted with a change of livery from boring red, but one Ray Stenning riposted with not very veiled venom, "NO! Glass is see through for s good reason!" 

And so says fbb!

But, Ray, surely the orange monster is creating desire for lovely Latte. (Latte was called mily coffee when fbb was a lad!)

Pink Again

Odd, that, fbb thought a bus company was about Fish & Chips and presrving the glis-glis in Tring.

Anyway, Team Pennine has had a launch, complete with "aren't we wonderful - well we will be soon" leaflet.

All credit to Transdev for aiming to create desire from the former Yorkshire Tiger Company (Arriva in a striped skin).

Boss Alex was anxious to show us the pictures, pretty in pink, plus the chair of the West Yorkshire Bus Alliance.

Sadly the celebratory chair, re-upholstered for the launch, did not appear on line.

But the lady in the floral frock in fuchsia fanned her fingernail finery with a flourish.

They are in matching pink and purple. Either she changed he clother to nail the new image or the nails were not hers! Maybe Alex had got the paint out?

The lady concerned is Kim Groves, a personage of some importance bus-wise in West Yorkshire - important despite not always being in the pink!

Seemed A Good Idea At The Time

Pingdemic Presages Paucity of Personages

This from Stagecoach in Hastings.

Futher explanation comes via the local press.

The rag offers a fuller explanation.Sort Of.

It is a worry thst thousands of people are being sent home to "self isolate", not by a doctor or a nurse, but ny a mobile phone - and of course the ping has no legal force it is "purely advisory" but the pingees have been told they must do it.

fbb has never been pinged. 

That's because he has never downloaded the App.

And does one topless driver really make a difference? Or is it that the poorly bus would cost too much to mend?

Cynical, moi?

And East Midland Railway (EMR)?

Swingeing cuts to most local services!

Oddly, there are no cuts to the main line "intercity" services out of St Pancras. Odd, is it not, that staff on this line have neither been "pinged" or tested positive for the lurgi - so all is fine and dandy!

That couldn't be because the main line is where EMR make its profits?

Cynical, moi?

Now, There's A Point

Computers get smaller, phones get smaller but cars get bigger! Most Chelsea tractors that fbb sees in the car park at Tesco are drived by one small lady, woman or person of female gender, often barely able to see over the steering wheel.

Someone wrote on-line a few weeks ago, that electric cars would not make one iota of differebnce to saving the planet. What was needed was less cars - or even better, no cars!

Maybe unrealistic, but at least legislate against cars that are unneceaarily big.

Tomorrow, Amongst Other Variety

More veg!

 Next Variety blog : Sunday 25th July