You have a perplexed air, Holmes. Today's lunchtime postal delivery is providing you with undue anxiety?
Indeed it is Holmes. This letter, under the obvious pseudonym of "The Fat Bus Bloke", presents me with a case of international import; a case upon which rests the strength and character of future generations; a case that is so complex that it will be utterly beyond the mental capabilities of LeStrade and his team of incompetents from Scotland Yard. It concerns the whereabouts of Annie and Clarabel.
And who are these tragic young ladies; assuming, Holmes, that they are young and thus in need of your intellect and wisdom. And in what way is your correspondent involved with them?
Pray excuse my slackness, Holmes, but I will abbreviate the compiler of this epistle and use the acronym "fbb". Our client fbb writes:-
"My dear Holmes,
I have recently welcomed Annie and Clarabel into my humble Devon home but I feel most strongly that they may be imposters. Their youthful and gay appearance belies an undercurrent of deception. These are not the real Annie and Clarabel."
Then we must, Holmes, take the midday train from Waterloo, change to an omnibus at Axminister, visit this fbb and question the two ladies concerned.
You may be surprised to learn, Watson, that the two ladies under discussion are, indeed, not the real thing; they are but representations.
That is a sorry tale, Holmes. Do you infer that this fbb collects dolls, toys exclusively manufactured for small girls. I fear I would be uneasy in such a person's company.
Steady on, my good friend. Let us be patient until we meet fbb, Annie and Clarabel.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Holmes, yet again you have mocked me. I am cut to the quick! Annie and Clarabel are toy trains.
Watson, your ignorance oft astounds me. They are not "trains", they lack the celebrated "Thomas", their life-long hauling locomotive.
Our new-found friend, fbb, has purchased these to entertain an expert on lady railway carriages.
Young Archie Fearnley's chosen bedtime reading is oft from the oeuvre of the late and much lamented Reverend Wilbert Awdry. fbb would be utterly mortified if the young lad observed inaccurate representations of Thomas' two lady friends!
So what now Holmes?
Out with your trusty notebook, Holmes, and pen an accurate description of fbb's recent purchases. Pay specific attention to the numbers of wheels, the total number of compartments, the livery and lettering style.
Any minuscule detail may prove crucial in this vexing and challenging case. Then we must return to the Capital for further investigation.
But, Holmes, we have not dined. My internal organs are complaining of a serious lack of comestibles.
Have no fear, Holmes. Sir Brian's excellent train service will offer us the benefits of an at-seat service of recently developed light meals as developed for Sir John Montagu, Earl of Sandwich. This delectable delight will stave off the rigours of daytime hunger until we dine at the Club this evening,
If you say so Holmes.
As soon as we arrive at Waterloo, you are to take a Hansom Cab and visit any purveyor of childrens' toys, Messrs Hamley's for example ...
... therein purchasing as many versions of Annie and Clarabel that you can obtain.
I will return post-haste to 221B Baker Street to engage in further research. My trusty fiddle will be an essential aid to thought.
Then I will not hurry back, Holmes.
So, to Axminister, Watson; the game's afoot!
Make haste, there is no time to lose!
to be continued.
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Decker Delightfully Domiciled
Hot news is that Aberdeen's wandering cluck-meister has been found a new home. Hopefully, says First, his wandering days are over, but should he fancy an outing, his staff pass is still valid. See "Positive Firsts from First" (read again).
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Next Annie & Clarabel blog : Sunday 24th May
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