Christmas Day Variety

Dear Father Of Christmas

We know that you were originally dressed in green and a "descendant" of the "Green Man". We know that the real gifts you brought were new life in nature after a cold hard winter. We still display a tree in your honour and we sill decorate our "halls" with holly, ivy and mistletoe.

Maybe you should become the symbol of the Green Party?

Such a pity, though, that you got all mixed up with a fake present giver who never gave presents to anybody.

Here are some real gifts you might like to bring to "important people" in the public transport industry; gifts that may encourage them to really, really think "green" rather than conning themselves with electric vehicles which aren't very green at all and are very expensive to buy!

To Bus Bosses 

A Christmas Holiday on the Isle of Wight

Plenty of buses running throughout the festive season.

And none of this early finish on the Eves ...

... with full night buses on 31st Dec!

Routes 1, 3 and 9 run hourly on Christmas Day; route 5 and 7 run two hourly.

And they relly mean it!

To Bus & Train Publicity Officers

This is a gift you can wonder at if you have never seen one before. It is called a timetable book and it contains, guess what, timetables.

It doesn't need a Wifi signal, it doesn't need batteries or a USB charger and it is ludicrously cheap to produce.

It encourages people to understand and use a wide range of public transport.

It is really, really good for the "green agenda".

To The Minister for Transport

You won't have much Ministering to do for a week or so. To fill your time, here is a ball of tangled string. In the quiet moments after your Christmas Din Dins you could start to untangle it.

As you do so, think of the far worse tangle that is the railways' fares farce.

You might realise that there is a massivle untanglement to do.

But a simple fares structure is simple. As you are currently pulling all the strings in the rail industry ...

... just get untangling. You can sort the finances out later as you are currently paying a lot of the bills anyway.

To Rail Company Managers

A Picture to Pin Up In Your Office

The strange creature behind the "tickets" window is NOT an alien. It is a real, live human being. As well as selling tickets (especially when they are untangled!) he can offer cheery advice and comfort for those for whom train travel is a bit scary. And that is quite lot of scared people - especially if things go wrong or they have to change trains en route.

Get rid of the ticket clerk and his/her sales point at your peril.

If you do remove him/her you will lose passengers.

To The Men From The Ministry

A European Holiday

We all know that the dark suits of the Civil Service actually run things or, alternatively, block anyone trying to make major changes.

So give them a free week in a European city where public transport is cheap and fully integrated. There are plenty to choose from.

Then bring them back to London and set them five days of transport challenges. For example;-

What is the easiest way to get from Paddington to Leytonstone?

What is the cheapest/quickest fare combo from London Bridge to St Pancras without Oyster?

Work out a simple route from Wimbledon to St Alban's.

Then a tie-break question. Explain to a visitor to London what a pink Oyster reader is for.

To The Mayor Of London, Mr Khan

We have all enjoyed your little game, namely "Guess Where The Buses Go"; and it is becoming fairly obvious that you don't know where the buses go either. Rather than cutting services to save money, have you ever considered telling people exactly where you buses run by using a map.

It is possible you don't know what one of those things is. So Father of Christmas is bringing you a whole set from Mike Harris;

How about issuing those very useful "Quadrant" maps, but this time in colour. Until you work out how useful such a product would be, at least you can play with the Mike Harris set.

While you are in "encouraging new passengers" mode, how about publishing bus timetables?

And to all who receive these gifts from the Father of Christmas, have a very green policy time!

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 Advent Calendar Day 25 

Say Yes to Yahweh

Yahweh? Ya What?

Yahweh is God's name, as revealed to Moses via the non-burning burning bush. It was corrupted to Jehovah for good but somewhat odd theological reasons, so there never was any biggie called "Jehovah". In most modern bibles the name is printed as LORD (small caps).

God's name means, roughly, "I always have been, I am, and I always will be." Quite a good name for God, eh?

Mary said  Yes to Yahweh

The angel came to her and said, “Peace be with you! The Lord is with you and has greatly blessed you!”

Mary was deeply troubled by the angel's message, and she wondered what his words meant. The angel said to her, “Don't be afraid, Mary; God has been gracious to you. 31 You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.

Mary said to the angel, “I am a virgin. How, then, can this be?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and God's power will rest upon you. For this reason the holy child will be called the Son of God."

Of course she was "troubled". By the morals of the day, husband-to-be Joe should end the betrothal and throw her out!

Please note : in these pictures "angels" have been left to blog readers' imagination and interpretation. But, please remember, "angels" NEVER appear with wings as they do their thing on earth. Occasionally they are called "shining ones". Also, whilst it is a meaningless concept, sex-less "angels" are always given male names and they NEVER wear tinsel, wrapped round a bent metal coat hanger!

Joseph said  Yes to Yahweh

Joseph was a man who always did what was right, but he did not want to disgrace Mary publicly; so he made plans to break the engagement privately. While he was thinking about this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary to be your wife. For it is by the Holy Spirit that she has conceived. She will have a son, and you will name him Jesus—because he will save his people from their sins.”

Brave man to stay with her

Shepherds said  Yes to Yahweh

They were terribly afraid, 10 but the angel said to them, “Don't be afraid! I am here with good news for you, which will bring great joy to all the people. This very day in David's town your Saviour was born—Christ the Lord! And this is what will prove it to you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great army of heaven's angels appeared with the angel, singing praises to God:

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,

and peace on earth to those with whom he is pleased!”

In passing, please note that the "peace on earth" is ONLY on offer to those who "please God". It never was "Peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind.!

The Magi said  Yes to Yahweh

It was about two years LATER that "certain" wise men (not necessarily three, certainly not kings) took useless gifts to the toddler.

They went into the house, and when they saw the child with his mother Mary, they knelt down and worshiped him. They brought out their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, and presented them to him.

Each gift had a prophetic significance, culminating in Myrrh, used to embalm a dead body.

And, guess what; thirty years later ...

Clear out the clutter and maybe it becomes easier for folk today to ...

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 Next Courtroom blog :  Monday 26th  December