Beware Becoming a Bus "Nut"

But first, Season's Greetings.

and now, back to the blog ...
It's all fbb's fault!   ["It always is"- Mrs fbb]

Now this is on the verge of being very spooky indeed.  A chum from round the corner sent fbb details of a blog.

Some saddo who spends his life photographing buses?   Where do these crazy people get their ideas from? Well, this guy tells us something of what set him off on a life of omnibology.   But we rush ahead with the story.  fbb examined the "Transport Illustrated" Blog (read here) which, a few weeks back,  had loads of juicy photos of Isle of Wight buses from the 1980s.

 

fbb ignored the text and simply drooled over the pictures.  It takes a saddo to recognise a saddo.   But, always anxious to extend his own electronic ego-trip, fbb emailed the blogger in question and recommended "Public Transport Experience" as a good read.   The main man, Rob McCaffery, emailed back; commenting on the "Buses in the Blood" blog. (read again)   Rob suspected that his reference to a Youth Holiday might be a mutually happy memory of the same place.

In Fact, he attended the same Christian Holiday Centre at which fbb met the future Mrs fbb in 1971; but one year earlier (in 1970). So, who was this leader who took Chubby Young Rob on his first ever Rover Tour?

Yep!   It was a youthful and not yet quite so fat bus bloke!   Rob's email confirms this ...

Even youthful pre-fbb (sometimes called Peter for no apparent reason) didn't subscribe to Buses magazine back in 1971 - the year when GB embraced decimal currency.  [15th February for most of the nation, 22nd February for the bus industry - although why the later date has always been a mystery!]   Rob doesn't say which month's "Buses" was the first he bought; so here's all 12 from 1971:-

A little more spookiness.  The coach illustrated above [fleet number 127, from Rob's collection] was sister to one later owned by fbb [No. 126] through his short-lived "Westbrook Travel" company. Furthermore, Rob enthuses about Southern Vectis' "Vintage fleet" of the 1980s and includes a picture of "flat fronted" VR 628 also later owned by fbb. 

So it was most definitely all fbb's fault.   Not at all sure whether fbb should be honoured or profoundly embarrassed at the long term damage done to a fellow human being.

"41 years ago ... grab the Zimmer frame, insert false teeth, apply wig, sup a mug of cocoa and try to remember who is Prime Minister.  It's that nice Mr Stanley Baldwin, isn't it?" 

"Great to hear from you, Rob, after all these years; and please accept my sympathies for the tragic disease which I innocently gave you back in the strike-ridden 70s. There is no cure, only gentle and long-tern therapy!"

 

Incidentally, the Bristol LH referred to in Rob's blog was almost certainly on service 35  which ran from Cowes to Newport.   This route was chosen by fbb because it did a tour of the Thorness Bay chalet and caravan holiday centre ...

 ... passing frighteningly close to sunbathing tourists and lines of "smalls" drying in the sun. A service 35 still runs - for the time being, pre-cuts - but now from Yarmouth to Newport and operated by IoW Council's soon-to-be-axed Wightbus.   It still circumnavigates the "smalls".

next blog : due on Monday April 25th  

Paint your Wagon

well, coaches and locomotives, actually.

Remember the throaty voice of Lee Marvin singing (?) that song.  How appropriate for the unnecessary "Wanderin' Star" of train company liveries.

Brand is everything, we are told - but does it really help the image of rail travel if the brands are transitory, changing every few years?

First we were all part of "Inter City" and we knew where we were, who they were, and, broadly, where we were all going.

Then along came rail privatisation and the East Coast main line franchise was awarded to James Sherwood's Sea Containers group and began trading as Great North Eastern Railway, with a distinguished dark blue livery and a distinctive orange stripe, plus on board quality service to match.  "The Route of the Flying Scotsman"

 

GNER was unable to keep the franchise and bevvies of chaps (maybe chapesses as well) from National Express began affixing white sticky tape to obliterate the orange.

This was often done as the trains waited for boarding passengers at Kings Cross - with some trains running with orange stripe on one side and white on the other!   Next, National Express went multi-platform group wide livery for buses, coaches and trains; so they stuck bundles of knitting needles all over grey painted coaches.

But NEx got their sums wrong and they, too, handed in the keys. Now we, the people, run the franchise via the nationalised East Coast Railway company.   So, obviously, to establish the fifth corporate identity in roughly 20 years, ECR starts rebranding yet again.   This time it's shiny silver with a puce stripe!   Looks rather tawdry, perhaps unfinished, especially when dirty, and a bit "American"?

Don't worry, in May's "Modern Railways", contributor Tony Miles reports that ECR have dropped silver and will now repaint in grey.  Technically that makes it six!

It gets worse.  Once Mr Cleggeron decides what he is going to do with the railways, he has promised to let the East Coast franchise once again.   What's the betting this happens a year or so before the next election; the coalition then collapses and the fun (?) all starts again. Hey ho - we might even get liveries seven and eight! 

Remember that we, the customers, are paying for the paint, the sticky-backed plastic, the countless hours of management time and, above all, the myriads of design gurus who invent the vital (?) corporate identity.   They charge mega-bucks!    But the canny wee fellas from Scotrail have come up with a better idea ... 

... "we'll specify the livery", says Hamish & Co, "and whoever runs the franchise must use our design and call themselves Scotrail".   Thus, at one fell swoop [as first uttered, appropriately, by Macduff in "the scottish play"], we have a real, recognisable long-term brand.   At least, it will be when ALL the trains are painted!   fbb is not entirely sure about the Midlothian Measles style, but the concept is brilliant;

so how about ...

... a nice malachite green for the three "Southern" franchises,

a rich chocolate and cream for any re-franchised Great Western company; and, fbb could go on,  [Please don't, says our reader, we get the point!]

Indeed the companies could start marketing rail travel nationally once more - perhaps the brand might be called "British Railways".   It's a wonder no-one has thought of that name before!

next blog : due on Sunday April 24th    

Who Could Have Predicted?

A Special Good Friday Blog

Thirty years ago, who could have predicted the massive improvement in train service frequencies?  A glimpse at rail times in the 1981 Sheffield Transport timetable is revealing.  This summary from Sheffield via Penistone to Huddersfield, approximately every two hours ...

... becomes every hour by 2011! 

Sheffield to Barnsley every hour once morning "peak" was over ...

... now every 30 minutes until evening.  Stops at Attercliffe and Brightside have gone, but there are no steelworks to serve along the Don Valley.   A more useful interchange is now available at Meadowhall.

Sheffield Manchester fast trains were just every hour in 1981 ...

... now every 30 mins.  Two things to note here.  Travel South Yorkshire (whose 2011 timetables we have used so far) does not consider a service of fast trains to Manchester worth publicising, so we need to look at Transpennine's leaflet and, in so doing, ignore the Northern Trains slow all-stops journeys labelled "NT".

But the most dramatic change over 30 years is on the Sheffield to London run.  Then a train every hour, most taking about 3 hours ...

... and now, two trains an hour with the fastest taking just a few minutes over TWO HOURS; a truly astounding improvement!  (see below, for example, 0827 arriving in St Pancras at 1034.) 

Who would have even dared predicting such an amazing series of events?

A bit like 2,500 years ago in Iraq**.  Some hairy weirdo**, he would have been called a holy nutcase today, believed, from the bottom of his heart, that one day his god would change the world.  His predictions would, almost certainly, have been laughed out of court then.   Who could have believed the possibility of such an amazing series of events?
  

500 years after the prediction, the "chosen one"**, Joshua by name**, would change the course of history. A change, not brought about by military victory, but by the huge personal sacrifice of one man.  Since the hairy one's predictions appear to have come true, countless billions of people have had their lives changed for the better. That's why it is called "Good" Friday.  This is an extract from the so-called "ramblings" of the hairy one, dateline 500BC!

He was arrested and led out to die,

was put to death for the sins of the people.

He was placed in a grave with evil men,

He was buried with the rich;

even though he had never committed a crime

or ever told a lie.

The Lord says,  "It was my will that he should suffer;

his death was a sacrifice to bring forgiveness." 

And "Good" Friday was followed by an empty tomb on the Sunday, an event often challenged but, as yet, with no totally satisfactory earthly explanation.     Well, someone predicted this amazing series of events.

**Iraq was then called Babylonia, the weirdo was called Isaiah and we know the "chosen one" as the Messiah with his name, Joshua, more easily recognised by its Greek version, Jesus.   The passage in the old testament of the Bible is Isaiah Chapter 53 - even for a non believer it is very challenging!

And for those who don't see the connection between religion and travel (?), remember many of us enjoy a Bank Holiday because of what happened approx 2000 years ago.

next blog : due on Saturday April 23rd  

First's Magnificent Maps!

Or, has fbb finally flipped?

On a recent visit to Southampton (read again), fbb commented that he had obtained an excellent timetable book of all First's services serving the City.

Not only is the book comprehensive for "First" routes AND comprehensible [out-of-town and University services operated by Bluestar come in two separate books.] but it also includes detailed route maps for most City services.   This for service 1 and 1A.   It is an excellent production and an example to all operators and local authorities.   Ace!

Similar style maps have appeared (still do appear) in leaflets for Glasgow services and main services in West Yorkshire.   Here for service 1 in Leeds:-

The use of colour combined with accurate naming and placing of selected key stops, ensures that even a rank outsider has some idea of where he might be and where he might be going.   The West Yorkshire leaflets with maps also include a detailed all-stops plan of the Leeds City centre.   Again, really useful.

But, sadly, not all West Yorkshire services are so endowed. In Portsmouth, Southampton's immediate neighbour and under the same management (?), there is currently nothing; and in South Yorkshire, First leaves it all to the PTE - with grim consequences. This for busy service 40:-

TSY cannot even get its own stop names right with "Crimicar Lane/Hallamshire Road" wrongly labelled!   fbb ought to know; it's the stop he used when living in that part of Sheffield for approx 15 years.

In daydream mode, fbb wonders what a more enlightened First management might be capable of?   Attractive, useful maps in Sheffield?

Clear diagrams of the somewhat complex and non intuitive routes through Sheffield's City centre?

But, like Bobby Ewing stepping out of the shower and simply rewriting the previous season of  "Dallas" as "just a dream" [May 1996] ...

 

... we can all dream ... Have a look (here) at a purely speculative map for a service that doesn't currently exist. 

Perhaps the Fearnley regime might at least look at consistency of publicity with a view to making a "quality statement" nationally?   And the public might actually be able to work out where the buses go.   fbb suggests Southampton as a good example to follow.

Not so good news?  The Southampton timetable book already (in April) contains amendments.  These are explanatory notes without the appropriate timetables.   Poor.   A whole range of changes, mostly negative, come in to force on 12 June.   Will First have a new issue of their "excellent" book in good time for the change?

next blog : due on Friday April 22nd

I Don't Belieeeve it!

How to make a complete mess ...

By Travel South Yorkshire [TSY]

We all remember Victor Meldrew, the irascible pensioner from "one Foot in the Grave", played with consummate skill by Richard Wilson. Many may also have spotted on-line or on Channel 4 his farcical attempts to get sense out of National Rail's voice recognition enquiry service.   (To watch and snigger, click here). 

But, surely, fbb hears you cry "it's not really as bad as that, is it?"   OH, YES IT CAN BE!!!   fbb wonders how Victor Meldrew might react to the information on a bus stop at Ecclesall Church in Sheffield.   Details were logged by fbb in late March and re-created in a bloggable form upon his return to base.   For local residents, this IS the stop, at the end of Weetwood Road; used by fbb on various visits "up north":-

An exciting and stimulating picture, just an example of hundreds of similarly adorned stops!

The frame on the stop contains a heading which fbb has paraphrased as follows:-   "There are too many buses serving this stop to give full timetable information.   This is a helpful summary."   As an aside, please note that NO stops in ANYWHERE South Yorkshire give any timetable information; they only offer lists of departures from that stop.

Overall, this piece of computer generated garbage is so ridiculous that it is hardly worth making any comment, but, as TSY maintains, in a lemming-like manner, its blind faith in technology (WRONG!) instead of people (usually BETTER), detailed analysis is important.  So here goes, line by line:-

 The 88A is a variant of the 88 operating evenings and Sundays every 30 minutes.   The column "maximum time between buses" shown as "over an hour" applies  on Monday to Saturday daytimes; or so we are informed in the heading above the "timetable", . But the 88A doesn't run Monday to Saturday daytimes! Computer, WRONG again.

The 30 runs every 30 minutes throughout the day Monday to Saturday and, at school times, there is, indeed one gap of 47 minutes.  But for 95% of passengers the service is evenly spread.  Computer, WRONG again. The last bus is at 1852.  Really? There IS an hourly evening and Sunday service to Crystal Peaks BUT because these particular buses continue to Plumbley the computer puts them on a different line, and doesn't admit to serving Crystal Peaks on the way. Computer, WRONG again.

There is no such place in Sheffield as Darnall Littledale.    During the day on Mondays to Saturdays, buses run every hour to Darnall and continue to Littledale.  Evenings and Sundays service 4 also runs every hour to Darnall but omits the Littledale Estate and runs to Manor Top.   Computer, WRONG again.

Whilst it is true that the 83 and the 88 both serve Ecclesfield, they follow utterly different routes.   So the table completely misleads the passenger who may want intermediate destinations.  And (see above) the 88A's evening and Sunday route  is identical with the 88 to Ecclesfield but happens to continue to Chapeltown and, from 9th May, High Green. Computer, WRONG again.  Confused readers (and staff of Travel South Yorkshire) may like to examine fbb's map of heffield bus routes (here).   The routes are as from 24th July 2011.

This reaches the heights of daftness.   Service 4 to Manor Top only runs Evenings and Sundays; there are NO journeys Monday to Saturday daytimes.   The 701 is a schooldays only journey following a totally different route with no link whatsoever to the 4. Indeed, the 701 does not appear in TSY's on-line timetable library OR in any printed material.  Computer, WRONG again.

If you really, really want to catch the 701 in company with a crowd of howling school "students" [it's not "PC" to call the little brats young people "schoolchildren"] then click on the image above and enjoy your ride.

But back to the bus stop:- 

The  daytime (Mon to Sat) service to Plumbley, a district of Mosborough to the southeast of the City,  is the 55 running locally from Crystal Peaks ONLY.  Evenings and Sundays, for operational convenience, service 30 is extended from its normal terminus to Plumbley.  Factually this line is correct, but totally misleading. 

And finally ...

Of course, it is very obvious why service 214 runs less than hourly to Sheffield before proceeding to Sheffield Centre.   fbb knows they are the same place; our readers may well guess that they are the same place, but because someone has missed out the word "Centre", the thicko computer doesn't.   Computer, WRONG again.

IT people will tell us that the computer must be right as it draws its print-outs from a sustainable database. From a strict data management point of view, the computer IS right. It is, mindlessly, doing exactly as it is told. Sadly, the people who wrote the computer software and created the database would appear to have no common sense; and certainly no idea of what information the public might need or understand.

One last pointer to this appalling lack of intelligent thought somewhere in "the system".   Note the ten route numbers shown as serving Sheffield Centre. In fact EVERY BUS from that stop runs TO or VIA Sheffield Centre except the schooldays only 701!  So ...

Computer : utterly and completely WRONG in every possible way!    

P.S.  For the real "hairies" amongst our loyal readership.  At vast personal risk and expense (?) fbb has lovingly compiled a full set of timetables, from 9th May,  for the complicated routes 83, 88 and 88A referred to above.   They may be viewed (here)   They are shown correctly, unlike TSY's and Stagecoach's versions which are also computer driven and thus WRONG.

next blog : due on Thursday April 21st  

A Tale of Two Cities

First, Portsmouth; now Southampton.

West Quay shopping, Southampton

Soon after fbb's horror at poor public transport information in Pompey (read again), the old codger was off again; this time to Portsmouth's neighbour and sporting rival, Southampton.    Most foot passengers would use the Red Jet fast catamaran service from West Cowes, but fbb, eschewing speed in favour of a full English cooked breakfast, took the car ferry from East Cowes.

The crossing was fine, and fbb, replete from a substantial repast, had an hour or so so "kill" before his onward journey.

Information in Southammpton, then?   As one would expect, there was nothing about bus services posted on the ferry itself, nothing to encourage foot passengers to catch the free shuttle bus from ferry terminal to city centre and the station.   But in the opulent terminal building, designed (?) to look like a heap of builders' "Portakabins" ... 

... there is a clear sign to "buses", and, joy of joys, in an information "carousel", there was some Public Transport information.

There were leaflets for "Unilink" services,

originally run independently by the University of Southampton but now by BlueStar (Go-Ahead group) under contract. Sadly, none of these calls at the stop indicated in the terminal and visible (just!) to the left of the above snap.  They stop just round the corner on Platform Road.

Not totally clear even with a map, but it's better than nothing.   Also in the "carousel" is the official route map of all buses in Southampton, produced by the City Council.

The diagram is miles away from being geographically accurate, with very angular lines in some weird colours, but it is better than Portmouth's nothing.  Sadly NO copies of First's superb local timetable booklet, of which more in a later blog.  [Yes! you did read correctly, First does produce a superb timetable booklet!]

Next, fbb  took the free bus into town and alighted at West Quay (there's no quay now although there was once; it's a shopping centre, see above) and walked briskly to Above Bar (it's not a bar, it's a street name) to watch the world go by.

Each shelter here has huge display panels, intact and unvandalised; with oodles of room for good informative publicity, maps, fares information etc. etc.   But, yet again, same old - same old, we are only offered lists of departures. Of which more in a later blog.  There was also a dot matrix "next bus" display,

 dot matrix display from London - not Southampton 

which, in the 30 minutes of fbb's observations, was gazed upon by not one single passenger!   Had any gazed, they MIGHT have noticed that buses arrived and departed quite frequently and the times on-screen changed equally often but there was little synergy between the two. Bearing in mind we are just one stop from the City termini ... !   And BlueStar's 1109 to Millbrook Estate never did materialise.

But there is hope yet!   And the hero of the day is Phil Stockley, obergruppenführer of Velvet Bus, a small independent operator from nearby Eastleigh.

Because, in one of the extensive publicity frames, fbb excitedly espied ... 

 

 click on the image (above) for a readable version! 

... a real, informative, up-to-date and useful timetable - with times, and destinations.  Hooray!  Much rejoicing!  Dancing in the streets of Southampton!   fbb could actually find out what time his S2 would arrive in Shirley.    And the bus arrived at the time indicated on the screen.   Just one niggle: better with a bit if enlargement, Phil.

How can this be achieved technologically?   Well, it's rather complicated, but here are the basics:-

Using the above hardware, "download" the appropriate "clip" from your timetable leaflet (sorry, hard copy database), then ...

... "copy and paste" the "clip" onto the backing card in the display frame at the bus stop.  It works for maps and fares information as well.   Isn't technology wonderful?

Southampton?   Better by far than Portsmouth; but still way short of getting that elusive fbb gold star.

next blog : due on Wednesday April 20th