Both Baldrick and Blackadder were famed for their "cunning plans" which usually came to nothing or exacerbated the chaos; such is the joy of cleverly written comedy.
Manchester, too, has two cunning plans, each in the hands of two key characters.
One is Gary Nolan.
An ex Stagecoach man, he is director of "OneBus" an affiliation of all the bus operators in the city. He has a web site, a logo ...
... a slogan ...
... and a cunning plan.
Yes, that is good press fodder, but what does it mean? Here are his main proposals:-
These are all very noble and blindingly obvious aims and Gazza reckons they can be delivered by OneBus, a "voluntary" partnership between commercial operators and the PTE (the politcal body).
In the red corner, however, is the Manchester Mayor, Andy Burnham.
He was a "career" Labour Party man and an MP until he won the battle for Manchester Mayor in 2017.
He has a logo and a slogan (Our Network outlined in pretty colours) ...
... and he, too, has a cunning plan.
Our Network will be an integrated, simple and convenient London-style transport system; allowing people to change easily between different modes of transport; with simple affordable ticketing and an aspiration to have a London-style cap across all modes; with orbital routes that allow people to travel around the city region, as well as in and out of the city centre. Cycling and walking and bus will be accessible and convenient for short journeys, with interchanges and transport hubs enabling people to easily transfer to tram or train for longer journeys.
Our Network will also be built on the principles already governing Metrolink: convenient; affordable; sustainable; accessible and accountable:
Convenient: Reliable and regular services.
Most services in Manchester are already regular. Does he mean frequent or even more frequent?
Most services in Manchester are already regular. Does he mean frequent or even more frequent?
Affordable: Integrated fares and ticketing across bus, rail, tram and bike hire.
Sustainable: Zero emissions and powered by renewable energy.
Accessible: Fully accessible to all residents both at stops and on transport modes.
Accountable: Run for the people of GM and locally accountable.
In many ways the two cunning plans are much the same. But our Andy sees his as being delivered by a system similar to Transport for London, whereby the political authority has total control of network and fares with commercial operators taking on franchised services.
But at a recent "launch", the big reveal was of his "tube map" of the future transport network. It was a multicoloured magnificence illustrating Andy's plan for improving the Manchester public transport system.
It bore no resemblance to any variation of the London Tube map which was designed to make things easy to follow!
First on the big screen came the trams in YELLOW (with fbb splitting the diagram into two halves) ...
... above showing an extension to Port Salford, a little spur, perhaps to Salford Shopping Centre at Pendleton (?) and what appears to be a more direct route to Manchester Airport.
The eastern "half" proposes a branch to Middleton ...
... and a short onward leap to Stalybridge.
Is it the same as the PTE's plan for the future of Metrolink?
Of course not.
Then Andy added his revised bus network in PALE BLUE. This time fbb only shows the eastern half because, unless you are (a) an expert in Manchester's existing network, (b) have an mind-meld entry into Andy's detailed thinking and (c) understand how this has been translated into a very stylised diagram, it is simply too hard to fathom.
The mayor is keen to emphasise that he would be adding lots of orbital routes enabling folk to travel between communities without going into the city and out again. Would that be a bit like the Trans Lancs Express?
Mr B is, of course, quite right. Services like this are unlikely to be a valid commercial project, so a PTE take-over (or the present system of tendering) s the only way of delivering them.
Back to the map. We add in trains in RED.
There seem to be a lot of train lines in the Wigan area but fbb cannot explain where they all go.
Finally the presentation added tram trains in dotted yellow and red.
Very impressive. (sorry about the soft focus but this bit was badly produced on-line)
How did the other cunning plan person (Mr Nolan) respond. We know, obviously, that he does not want franchising, he and his OneBus want to retain commercial freedom (and profitability - although for one former OneBus cohort - First - that seemed a long way off).
Nolan also reckons that the bus operators have done a good job so far.
Other opponents have expressed concerns that they mayor is proposing to spend his first 500 million on cycling provision (nothing on trains and buses) and others have wondered how his whole raft of bus, tram and train improvements is going to be funded.
Cunning Plan man Andy Baldrick (sorry, Burnham) explains it all.
The Government will have to pay!
Yeah, right!
But Mr B needs to remind his various audiences that "Government Money" is our money, taxpayers money. Are the taxpayers of Manchester willing, one way or another, to pay the high cost of franchising as in London. In the Metropolis, public transport costs the residents about £760 million every year on their tax bill and the London mayor is trying to reduce that sum.
How? Amongst other ways, by reducing London's bus services.
It seems highly unlikely that Mayor Burnham's piggy bank will be filled by any government of any colour, although expect promises at the next General Election from at least one key player!
With all this taradiddle going on, you can perhaps understand why First have thrown in most of their towels in Manchester.
They have a few buses left in Manchester, but will First hold 'em in Oldham?
fbb (and the more well informed industry watchers) think a loud resounding "unlikely".
What have GoAhead and Rotala let themselves in for?
In case you missed this; added to yesterdays blog at about 0900:-
How long will it be before the new directors sell the business on to a different "big group". A nice picking for Stagecoach OR First, especially as neither like GoAhead (Wilts and Dorset/More/Salisbury Reds) very much and might relish the opportunity of giving then a thrashing!
Or maybe not if rumours of mounting losses are correct!
Tomorrow, a wonderful coastal bus ride.
First on the big screen came the trams in YELLOW (with fbb splitting the diagram into two halves) ...
Is it the same as the PTE's plan for the future of Metrolink?
Then Andy added his revised bus network in PALE BLUE. This time fbb only shows the eastern half because, unless you are (a) an expert in Manchester's existing network, (b) have an mind-meld entry into Andy's detailed thinking and (c) understand how this has been translated into a very stylised diagram, it is simply too hard to fathom.
Back to the map. We add in trains in RED.
Finally the presentation added tram trains in dotted yellow and red.
How did the other cunning plan person (Mr Nolan) respond. We know, obviously, that he does not want franchising, he and his OneBus want to retain commercial freedom (and profitability - although for one former OneBus cohort - First - that seemed a long way off).
Cunning Plan man Andy Baldrick (sorry, Burnham) explains it all.
Yeah, right!
But Mr B needs to remind his various audiences that "Government Money" is our money, taxpayers money. Are the taxpayers of Manchester willing, one way or another, to pay the high cost of franchising as in London. In the Metropolis, public transport costs the residents about £760 million every year on their tax bill and the London mayor is trying to reduce that sum.
How? Amongst other ways, by reducing London's bus services.
It seems highly unlikely that Mayor Burnham's piggy bank will be filled by any government of any colour, although expect promises at the next General Election from at least one key player!
They have a few buses left in Manchester, but will First hold 'em in Oldham?
fbb (and the more well informed industry watchers) think a loud resounding "unlikely".
What have GoAhead and Rotala let themselves in for?
In case you missed this; added to yesterdays blog at about 0900:-
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STOP PRESS - BREAKING NEWS
Yellow Buses (Bournemouth) was sold by Paris City Transport (RATP) to its Management on Monday 1st July "for an undisclosed sum". Yet another "big group" is "rationalising its portfolio of bus businesses", i.e. getting out quick!How long will it be before the new directors sell the business on to a different "big group". A nice picking for Stagecoach OR First, especially as neither like GoAhead (Wilts and Dorset/More/Salisbury Reds) very much and might relish the opportunity of giving then a thrashing!
Or maybe not if rumours of mounting losses are correct!
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Next Eastbourne blog : Friday 5th July
£500m on cycling? You could buy every member of the population of Greater Manchester a £150 bike with that and still have £80m left over to invest in buses! Mind-boggling
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