Saturday, 5 April 2025

Saturday Variety

 It's Come Alive, The 55

Stagecoach 55 (chesterfield to Alfreton, "the back way") was taken on commercially by Hulleys when Stagecoach jumped ship.
When Hulleys collapsed there was a commendable rush to cover all the company's services except the 55. There were pitchforks at dawn in the villages left unserved but all, apparently. to no avail.

Then, yesterday, a revised 55 started with little publicity except an announcement by Derbyshire County. Hulleys timetable looked like this ...
... bur note extensions in Chesterfield to the hospital and at Alfreton to the "Designer Outlet".

The new 55 just runs from town centre to town centre ...
... offering a tight schedule for two, rather than Hulleys three, buses. But there is a rudimentary map.
The tender was won by Notts and Derby, one time operator of trolleybuses ...
... replaced from the mid 1950s by motor buses.

The operation became part of Trent and disappeared. Later the name was revived as Trent's "low cost" unit specialising in tender and contract work.

April Fool!
fbb used to try an April Fool's "canard" on this blog, but gave up the tradition for two reasons. 1, every blog writer and his dog was doing it, and 2, the real happenings in the transport industry were dafter than anything the old bloke could make up.

If you are almost as old as your revered (?) blogger, you may remember Panorama's Spaghetti Harvest.
In 1957, when this gag was broadcast, the BBC was dour and fairly formal. There was very limited news coverage and any deeper stories were the role of Panorama on a Monday evening; Your Window on the World. The programme was hosted by the consummate broadcaster, Richard Dimbleby.
The whole nation was shocked by the flippancy of the gag - that is the part of the whole nation that wasn't taken in with the gentle culling of the Spaghetti from the trees of Ticino.

Taken in, surely not?

Back then many families consumed tins of spaghetti in tomato sauce ...
... so freshly grown spaghetti was less well known thus a good April 1st gag!

Hornby's Latest Revolutionary Product ...
... is introduced on-line by their presenter Mike.
... but despite the dead-pan delivery, the gag is pitifully obvious. It concerns ...
...  a "shrinking booth"; which looks very similar to their model of a portable toilet.
Using some stunning modern technology ...
... (but, sadly, NOT AI) users of the booth are reduced to OO gauge size. 

Mike is pictured at the controls of an LNER Pacific ...
... and wandering around an OO layout ...
... having just stepped from the booth.

A small gaggle of technicians are portrayed as the creators of this marvel.
The gag is mildly amusing (VERY mildly) and not in any way believable.

But how about this?

First Bus Restructures - Again!
This from Roger French, published on Thursday of last week so NOT on April 1st.

If it seems Arriva, First Bus and Stagecoach are for ever restructuring or launching transformative new branding and liveries you won’t be surprised to hear this week see’s another management reorganisation at First Bus.

This week’s new structure comprises three “delivery units” which have all the hallmarks of being devised by external management consultants as naturally they’re defined by “management speak” acronyms – B2B; B2C and B2G.

In plain English these are Business to Business (ie coaching and contract operations) headed by Andrew Jarvis; Business to Customer headed by Colin Brown and Business to Government (ie franchised areas) headed by Gary Hitchmough (who’s the current lead on bidding and development). 

All First’s local commercial teams based in regional bus companies are being made redundant with all commercial decision making now centralised at First Bus head office. 

Regional companies will be allocated to Andrew (Aircoach, Ensign, coach businesses and First Travel Solutions); Colin (South, East and West and Wales and eventually Scotland) and Gary taking those areas for franchising (Manchester, Midlands and the Yorkshires). 

Regional bus companies will just be delivery units with no commercial decision making.

It is frighteningly plausible. Remember this is the company that spent £4 million on so-called AI software to deliver incomprehensible timetables to confuse their potential passengers.

At first, fbb wasn't sure.
Although a smiley face and a former top manager ...
... and perhaps not quite the Richard Dimbleby of the bus industry, Rog's blogs are usually measured and serious, bereft of the sort of drivel that fbb adds from time to time. You are unlikely to find Rog parodying songs or poems in his pursuit of omnibological entertainment.

So is it it isn't it?

Three possible thoughts. 

Nothing has appeared on the First Bus OR The First Group web sites - YET! 

There are no reports of those redundancies from the operating companies - surely they would be leaked to the local press at least? Surely the unions would be up in arms?

On the other hand the three section bosses sound vaguely familiar. Of all people, Roger would know their names!

So is it it isn't it?

If it is a gag, it is very good because it is utterly plausible. It is just the sort of crackpot thing First would do - like abandoning local liveries and brands in favour of a poor quality national identity. And that is real.

If it is true it hits the dizzying heights of crackpot company policy, far, far dafter than supposed AI.

fbb will publish details of another April 1st gag from the model railway scene tomorrow. It is pitifully obvious.

Mind The Gap!
In fettling up the backscene for the loco and carriage depot baseboard at Peterville, fbb had inadvertently created a gap.
The gap was caused by the placement of the wall and scenery at its other end. Distances have changed since the backscene was installed outside in the yard and the in the cold cold snow. 
So the ingredients ...

A chunk of old plywood
Some embossed stone sheet in plastic
Plastic strip for edging 
Cardboard painted green (poster paint)
Two cheap and nasty pine trees cut in half lengthways and trunk removed
PVA glue a plenty
Polystyreme cement in lavish quantities

Mix and allow to set and ...
... the gap is filled, with a tree not quite hiding the join. The tree also partly obscures the lack of paint matching and/or different breeds of grass on adjacent hillsides. A little adjustment is necessary.

Talking Of AI?
Where is Dain Street in Ryde, Isle of Wight? And what is a Dry Skip Slipe. fbb will reveal the full image tomorrow. It is farcical!

As is this:-

 Next Variety blog : Sunday 6th Apr 

Friday, 4 April 2025

Riding The Mustang 4

A Subtle Significant Squiggle

There it is on a bus and there it is on a stairwell leading under ground. 
And this logo below has nothing to do with Greater Manchester (that's in the UK, you know!).
That is the San Francisco Municipal Transport Agency; once known as the San Francisco Municipal Railway. Both names are something of a mouthful for the public,  which explains the squiggle.
Obviously (?), there are four letters in the logo ...
M
U
N
I
Yes folks, that squiggle spells MUNI, short for MUNIcipal, less of a mouthful than the official name. Sons sent fbb several public transport pictures, notably of a bus ...
... some trolley overhead ...
... and a trolleybus ...
... plus a very ancient tram!
So let's tidy this up. Frisco runs five modes of public transport.
There are buses with the obligatory bike hangers ...
... trolleybuses which they call trolley coaches (two words); and trams ...
... which they call the metro. This is a mixture of street running ...
... and underground.
The older tram is not part of the fleet that is due for imminent replacement, but one of a large collection of "heritage" trams, running in something very much like a normal service. Some are very heritage ...
... and just like the Seaton Tramway ...
... they have a "boat car" ...
... two actually!
... but San Francisco's are full size!

The cable cars ...
... (but not that sort of cable car) are hauled by a continuous rope in a conduit in the road surface. The driver controls the car by gripping a clamp on to the cable.
These are the vehicles that ascend and descend one of Frisco's very steep hills; climbing upward to the stars, one might say.

But sons eschewed all these astounding delights and rode a Waymo electric car! How could they?

They also visited a gallery showing modern art. No 1 son is Dean of Distance Learning at the University of the Arts, London, so that visit was a must.
Remember when "mobiles" were a craze back in the swinging sixties? 

Then there was some of this ...
... and one of these to peer at in a bemused fashion.

But best were the animals (?) from the planet Zog ...
...  surely kept behind a toughened glass wall lest they escape! 

This display looked realistic ...
... possibly because it was a window.

Or was it?

This took some figuring out!
Whoops, fbb has checked his notes. It was their breakfast.

Or was it?

But, whatever non GMO soy curls might be ...
... (possibly to feed those spotty animals), they looked like something from the planet Zog, But the lads bought a huge bag.
Two sons are feeling better now.

But their stay was brief ...
... with little time for sightseeing and even less for exploring the Muni!

It was farewell to the Golden Gate Bridge ...
... and southbound to L A.

The bridge opened in 1937 ...
... two sons drove over it in the Mustang in 2025!
Wowsers!

The final Mustang blog will follow next week.

 Next Variety blog : Sat 5 Apr