Friday, 5 June 2015

Miss Gossage Teaches Computers ...

... with difficulty!
Miss Evangeline Gossage is a teacher at Holgate School, York. With some misgivings, she has taken on the task of running an IT course with her year 7. The teaching unions have told the Government that many staff are unprepared for the challenge of the revised curriculum.

This transcript of a typical lesson may give cause for thought.

Good morning class. Today we are going to use our computers to do something useful. The task is on the board. I want you to find out the first bus from the centre of York to get to Monks Cross shopping centre tomorrow.

Please Miss; why would I go shopping first thing?

Perhaps you want breakfast, Mary?

We don't have breakfast Miss. Mum gives us a marmalade sarnie.

Please Miss; my dad would take me in the car to MacDonalds.

But suppose the car was broken down.

But Miss; we've got two cars.

Perhaps they're both broken down; it is just an exercise, Mary.

Miss, can I use my i-phone?

No, Anthony, you have to use the school computers. That's what you will be tested on.

But hey're cra ...rubbish, Miss. They're hundreds of years old. (sotto voce) Like you Miss.

Just get on with it! And George ... don't do that.
Miss; I've found a timetable. The first bus is a number 9 at oh seven oh oh..
Well done Giles.

Miss, I've found a timetable. The first bus is a number 9 at 0720..
Well, one of you must have got it wrong

Miss, my timetable for route 9 says the first bus is at 0630.
Oh dear, it is a bit confusing. Are you sure you've got the right route, Reggie?

Miss! Reggie's time table only goes to the Park and Ride. Macdonalds is in the shopping centre.

Thank you Anthony. Has anyone found a map?

I've got a map, Miss. From First Bus. It says the 9 goes to the Shopping Centre and the Park & Ride.
So it does Stephanie. Well done.

My maps from First Bus as well miss and it shows he same.
Thank you Clive.

Miss. I don't understand my map. It doesn't have any numbers at all.
Oh dear, Tracey, that does make it difficult.

I've looked it up in my spotting notebook, Miss; (groans from rest of class) and it's definitely a number 9 but it's called Silver Line.
Perhaps the Silver Line goes to Monks Cross?

It's a silver bus, Miss.
(Panic setting in). Now Peter, we haven't heard from you. You're good at computers. What have you found.
I have found an interactive map, Miss. (groans of derision from class). It suggests that the bus to the shopping centre only goes from there to the Park and Ride.
Well, Peter. I am surprised at you. How silly to say that a bus only goes one stop along the road.
Monks Cross Shopping, top right
Park and Ride, bottom left

Miss, miss!

Yes, Charles?

I've just remembered. My dad is a bus driver. He said that if he had to drive the 99 backwards and forwards six times an hour he would hand in his sucking cards. What are they miss?

(raucous laughter from class). Thank you Charles. Erm ... I'll explain later.

Please Miss?

(sighs) Yes Louise?

Would it be easier to go to MacDonalds in town?
Indeed it would Louise. But we must move on. It is time for our weekly spelling test.

And, George ...don't do that.
Here are this week's ten words:-

fbb reported on the new electric buses for Monks Cross Park and Ride. (read again). The following comment was added to he blog.
The link quoted is to a well hidden item in the "Service Updates" page of First's web site. All the information which Miss Gossage's class discovered (and failed to discover) was current on-line last Wednesday, 3rd June. Without this link, try finding service 99 and a correct service 9.

Note that the timetable and maps on the main part of First's web site are all UTTERLY WRONG. The revised services to Monks Cross started weeks ago.

Had Miss Gossage tried Traveline Yorkshire, she would have found no mention of route 99 ...
... route 9 only going to Park and Ride ...
... the map also showing buses to Park and Ride only ...

... but the timetable showing buses all he way to the shopping centre!

Isn't the internet wonderful?

 Next bus blog : Saturday 6th June 

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