So Alan, knowing no fear, asked Traveline. His simple query was for a journey from Smallbrook Junction to Tesco Ryde. And here (ta da!) is the answer.
Traveline journey time, two hours and twenty five minutes.
Sorry, Traveline enthusiasts (are there any?), it is obvious to all and sundry that the answer above is total and utter garbage. Surely the system must offer a simpler journey? And indeed it does, of course it does, as we shall see tomorrow.