Sunday Variety On Tueday

Publicity Matters  - Really It Does

The usual annual leaflet has arrived (thanks Mr K) from First Dorset and South Somerset promoting their Jurassic Coaster collection of bus services. And this, as usual, us a truly lavish production, packed with information about places to visit each accompanied by quality and enticing pictures.

Who would not be tempted to purchase a day ticket and enjoy the glories of these routes?

As this leaflet folds up in an unfathomable and often unrepeatable way, your tireless investigator will refer to the mega side (with the heading as above) as the "front". The side with the orange back page will be designated "back".

There are one or two mysteries in the presentation but they are minor. 

But which location would afford a meeting with two holiday makers with seagulls on their heads?

And how much of the lsle of Portland ...

... do you get when you buy an acre or two from Coastline Cruises. And whilst on Portland, we do have a timetable fior the open top service to visit Bill.

So, on the front you could start you progress at Axminster...

... hut overleaf, on the back you can be tempted by the delights of Axminster.

Then, back to the front for a gaze on the rich delights of  ...

... Swanage! That shelter is truly something to write home about. And Swanage appears again on the back.

Next, why not spend some time at Monkey World (front) ...

... or, for extra excitement on the back ...

... more monkey business. Again, in a similar geographical area, you could visit the tank museum (front) ...

... or a very similar place of interest (back).

Then, obviously, there are the front swans at Abbotsbuty ...

... and back to Abbotsbury for even more swans.

fbb thinks that a few have been hogging the limelight and appearing in BOTH pictures - anything for a bit of publicity hype swanning around!

Hopefully, our noble readership has got the message. MOST places are covered by panels on both sides of the leaflet.

Now that wouldn't matter too much if it wasn't for what isn't in the leaflet.

Apart from the bus for Bill at Portland there are no timetables printed here.

How absolutely, amazingly and ludicrously crackpot of First Bus.

There is a picture of a footpath sign ...

... a gorgeous picture of a view with no caption ...

... and one of these also with no caption.

fbb has passed the test; it's Chesil Beach and Lyme Regis!

And as a final treat we have a woman sitting on an invisible seat (very clever, that) telling us nicely that none of these services has a commentary.

fbb has calculated that, by removing duplicate panels of information, removing unexplained pictures and deleting much blank space e.g. as used for inadequate fares information ...

... one compete side of ths leaflet could be used for timetables; even if the number of intermediate timing points had to be reduced.

Then this beautifully illustrated leaflet might be of some use to passengers and, heaven forfend, to encourage new passengers to join in the delights of the Jurassic Coast.

But that might make sense!

The Monster At Cambridge!

There are now two. And they are both called "Cyclops".

In Greek mythology and later Roman mythology, the Cyclopes (pronounced Cuclup-eez, there were lots of them) are giant one-eyed creatures. Three groups of Cyclopes can be distinguished. In Hesiod's Theogony, the Cyclopes are the three brothers Brontes, Steropes, and Arges, (all "eez" again) who made for Zeus his weapon the thunderbolt. In Homer's Odyssey, they are an uncivilized group of shepherds, the brethren of Polyphemus encountered by Odysseus. Cyclopes were also famous as the builders of the Cyclopean walls of Mycenae and Tiryns.

One of a flock of Cyclop-eez would be just "a Cyclops".

So there are TWO of them bringing horror, chaos and confusion to Cambridge.

Here is one of them.

It looks like a roundabout and not too much like a monster from Greek Mythology.  It is a CYCling Optimised Protected Signal junction.

Of course it is.

Whoever came up with that name deserves a chocolate peanut even if the actual idea is less commendable

Each junction has about 30 poles worth of traffic lights and, very simply (??? Don't laugh!) it works like this.

All road traffic is held at red lights at the same time then cyclists and pedestrians set off on their roundabout route. It is not clear how many times they would get stopped as they travelled round the about. But, once they have had their turn, they are all stopped and road vehicles set off as in a normal gyratory scheme but, possibly, only released road by road in sequence.

The description does not mention how long it takes to escape from the prettifying force of the Cyclops - but fbb betts a squashed sausage to a toenail that it is much longer than a "normal" roundabout.

There is a video! Just to confuse us all this is the other Cyclops in Cambridge which is a simple (?) crossroads.

Simple?

And yes, it will be a lot slower for everyone - such fun at peak times! There will be more grief for public transport, certainly.

Which Is Which?

Is this the famous Kabin on Coronation Street at Weatherfield?

It is the fag and sweet shoop beloved by watchers of a series of programmes about soap - apparently.

Or, is this the Kabin at Weatherfield after a major refit?

Looks similar?

If course, it's a Manchester tram covered with official graffiti so that you cannot see out unimpeded. 

What a splendid idea. 

And the tram stop nearest the studios (and thus the studio tour) has got at least one fake sign.

There is no stop called Weatherfield anything because (spoiler alert) Weatherfield does not exist!

This is the whole ghastly ugly thing!

Is the revenue really worth it compared withthe confusion and poor visibility that this silly tram provides?

Tomorrow we step back in time to see where the fbb's have been for a couple of days.

PLEASE NOTE : Travelodge charges £3 for 24 hours of interwebmet!

Poor.

In order to save a few pennies, the miserly old man did not dole out the dosh on the first evening away. 

Smelling and fluctuation were carefully chucked using his nubile phone.

Apologies for any inadequacy. He will be paying up grudgingly from this evening!

 Next Schedules blog : Wednesday 26th June