Saturday, 14 August 2010

This blog has been delayed

due to operational reasons.
What are "operational reasons", an excuse once famous on our railways?   Surely it actually meant that the train was late because we couldn't run it on time - not much of an explanation!   In our modern health and safety litigious world we now plaster everywhere with notices which proliferate to such an extent that nobody, well, notices them anymore.
We all love:-
DISABLED TOILET - not much use trying to use it, then.
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING DOWN THIS TOILET - ditto!!!! (think about it!)
THIS DOOR IS ALARMED - there there, door, you'll soon feel better!
BRADING WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS - does anywhere welcome dangerous ones?
HOT WATER - from a hot water tap; wow! headline news!
TAKE CARE ON STAIRWAYS - bother!  I was hoping to be allowed to do handstands and flick-flacks whilst carrying two heavy cases.   I am really disappointed!
But some of the most juicy have appeared recently on journeys to and from the Isle of Wight.

Before the recent refurbishment of Ryde Pier Head, we had the dubious pleasure of being warned about an OVERHEAD height restriction. Now where else might such a beast dwell?
And, more amusingly, on a Red Funnel Ferry ...

we are regaled with

So, as a service to Health and Safety, we stood, resolutely with arms akimbo, in front of it for the whole journey*. Depressingly no member of staff came and thanked us for our beyond-the-call-of-duty (and unpaid) assistance to the company.
Anyway, back to the point!
Fat bus bloke does not have a blackberry, boyson berry, kumquat or any other electronic fruit. Neither does the old man own an i-pod, p-pod or an alternative communications vegetable.   So, due to operational reasons, this blog - and possibly others during the summer holiday period - is suffering from delay.
Never mind - with a couple of aspirins and a good night's sleep - its suffering will be over.
*well, actually we didn't; 'cos the job was adequately performed by a pile of rubbish bags!
P.S.  On a co-op chicken sandwich:- "made with free range mayonnaise".   Great - a quick search of the interweb and, herewith, a picture of a cottage in County Mayo (Ireland) with pools of free range mayonnaise awaiting collection.     Perhaps it's collected on April 1st?

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